“If music be the fruit of love, play on!”

Shakespeare wrote that line in Twelfth Night, and being a nerd raised on The Bard, that kind of unfettered romanticism was wired into my soul from a young age. As a kid, I believed that following your dreams and your heart would be rewarded by rainbows, unicorns, and everlasting love. I was a child– give me a break!

Reality

I chased my dreams, wore my heart on my sleeve, and got kicked in the teeth. I know that much of the heartbreak was my own damn fault; my penchant for beaches, beer and writing and arguing are not everyone’s cup of tea. I am not the easiest guy to live with. Something was always missing, though. It took me a long damn time to figure it out.

I’m well versed in the idea that one must slay their own demons before they should be in a relationship, that we’ve got to be centered and whole before we can truly give and accept the love we need. There’s truth in that, but not the whole truth.

The truth is that most of us spend our lives trying to smash a square peg into a round hole, and wind up divorced and sad, or remain married and miserable. We justify this existence because it’s better for the kids, or career, or the finances; maybe that person will miraculously change. I’m not advocating casual divorce by any means. Fix it if its fixable! But life is short.

Most of us settle down, settle for less, and live lives of quiet desperation, seething in silence because some things that are broken can not be fixed and some relationships were never meant to be.

Soul Mates

But if you’re really lucky..

Lightning strikes and you find the one who you were supposed to be with. Finally. And it really is like lightning, with the energy and randomness and the way it rocks your world. That person who brings serenity, fire, dreams, motivation, joy, and kindness into your life all at the same time and makes you wonder how it took so long to find them. When you wake up in the morning, you thank God that she is there and when you close your eyes at night, they are your last thought.

Your soul mate fits you like your favorite pair of old Jeans did back when you rocked them, and she makes you feel like you rock ’em again. Your soul mate is a true companion, sharing the toil and trouble and shouldering the boulder up the hill with you. And in that unified effort, there is a certain joy, a profound bond forged in the swirling maelstrom of hope, trust, love, and work. Because you can’t wait to get up and do it again with them the next day. That’s how you make a good life, I think.

I know I’ve had one hell of a ride, and it got better after I met my soul mate.