More than thirty years ago, one of my oldest friends saw what I did not, and he told me some hard truths. It’s taken me longer than it should have to really understand what he tried to tell me. We were fishing offshore in south Florida on a perfectly hot sun burned kind of day, and the fish weren’t biting.

At the time, he was working his ass off, putting in 16 hour days banging nails and investing in properties to sell. I was writing songs in Nashville and dreaming big dreams.

He tried his best to tell me and make me listen, as he did throughout the years. I listened without understanding, without hearing. He probably wanted to shake me.

“You’re swimming against the tide,” he said. The waves rocked the boat in easy, predictable fashion and the beer in the cooler was cold and perfect and we were in our mid-twenties . “Why would you choose to do that? Why make things harder than they should be?” He chuckled at me. I remember that. “You can’t beat the tide.”

Life was going to be long, glorious, and deeply fulfilling. Somewhere in me, I thought that my goals dwarfed his, believing he was settling for less, I think.

He’s made a fantastic life for himself and his family. Consistent, full of joy and opportunity for his kids, married to the same woman. Meanwhile,, Ive wasted time on relationships that were wrong, years on a dead-end job, tens of thousands of hours on creative endeavors that never paid off on the investment

The disparity is humbling.

I’ll keep writing because it’s fun and good for my sanity, and I’m truly glad that I’m writing again. But I chose partners that were always an outgoing tide and I was too foolish to see it. I never swam with the current.

I’ve experienced a deep paradigm shift recently, one born from joy, pain, love, and experience. I know what I want, and what I don’t want. I am aware of what I need and things I can’t tolerate. I’m lucky, blessed, and thankful, and filled with optimism. There’s an odd sense of peace in me that I’ve never known.

For the first time that I can remember, I’m not swimming against the tide,